cheers to all!! we have completed 2 big assignments yeah!! but..i am feel quite low today cause all my mistakes which i always repeat. Always the same thing happen to me, format, quality..all wrong. We were suppose to mount our work on 2 A2 size board but i made 2 A1 size ones..see the differences? super big i tell you..i was assigned to make a banner few year back and well i kinda messed it up cause of the size and res and cause of this miskate i keep repeating i keep wasting my time redoing and redoing..i hate myself for that..bottom line? i detest MYSELF..scuh huge word to use,but i really feel tt..and i think others might feel that too..
yesterday zihui ask me who am i closer to? i know so much people..the SD ppl? cadc ppl? well i told her i don know..but deep inside i can feel my self scared? varunable as i know the answer is none. I am not close wit any and that seems really clear to me..khai and zihui came from same sec sch and live around same area and speak the same language..haiz..calvin with wenhui, jasmine wit yijia..waimeng wit jian ming..Dgdd wit Dgdd..ect ect..me?i kinda think i am force fitting myself..though it would be different now in poly, yups its different..more 'open' which also means more scary..sometimes i just want to find a cave and hide inside??
was felling bad enough myself, alot of things going in my mind, but like always tries to push my mood up and better, then one seems to feel worst then me but well lets say he made it worst. It has been in my mind for very very long that i really don wan any of that..to think all of them treat u this well cause they like u? woo you? seem so unreal. I value everyone i treasure themand i rather want to be treated nice by everyone then some treating very well while others should not. My life is in such tragety but yet wat i can only do is to continue smiling to make others day and physco myself to believe wat i should believe..push on audrey as u are mostly on your own
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