hello people...been really really busy this 3 days..i am going mad..and i wanna give up..and who ever tt ANON person is FUCK off...[you ppl know i seldom use this words, so this is serious...don drive me to do thins tt no1 like] say watever you want as if i care...if u want to think in this way then carry onlor...i write so tt i can read it myself and clear some things up in my head..u have a problem..? somtimes however busy u are u still need time to reflect and think through..like i metioned i know i have not been doing, i admit ok not like i wanna hide about it.juz shoot if u got anything to say, any thing u by swang about me..people like u are juz living your life not learing anything.. anyways i am aready pissed and emo enough so i wont want to address to you anymore..
lets try to think of the happier times during this days...13th feb...got to do jae..in the morning meet wang jia do the design thing..after jae got dinner..so whole day nv when down for cadc..stoopid nv die be4 de waimeng pang sea me last min...thanks weesoon for taking time out...was funni rites?then wed whole day when for cadc..my 1st every one whoe day dere...well well ok..in the morninga abit shoot by jim and CCH...now i know the things i need to complete...fine..i nv say i wont do, juz tt i dunno wat i need to do...all their stoopid face starting to aggitate me...i need to catch up wit all their song practice..fine..i believe and i know i would be able to..as for the reports..HELLO.......u last min anyhow boomb as me tml give u meh...? insane...in the morning while everyone doing their reports, i asked xinyi to tell me ans teach me song tt they gone through...then after tt the song practise was long long long and long...but i learn all the songs and actions...juz tt not perfect lar..got small mistakes at times..and well chinese songs more error...then all this things tt i tried and watever all i get is an critict..fanstict...fine...when home qurraled and got scollded...redo the treasurehunt stuff..read through my old campfire things..till fall asleep on sofa...today morning drag myself out of bed to do housework for mummie...reach sch late see those faces again...smile audrey smile....instead of smiling i really feel like crying lor...in my head was like screaming shut up lar...i really feel like shouting out...but i know i will cry and break down over dere...hack everything and then i when for my dental...reach sch song secion again...
didnt eat my dinner...nv eat lunch..nv eat breakfast...only afew slips of water today...yups so audrey is trying to kill hersef her...who cares? yar i know u all done ALOT...how ALOT is it? the board also only 3 things completed...and one of it on the board is part of my work ok...yes its simple..so? i complete it ok...not as if if i don do those big big reports like outdoor and indoor means i not doing rites? and juz because i didnt really come for the 1st 2 day...my efforts on the 3day is soo useless then fine...try for wat? watever i do now will persive to u all as nothing..the mindsept is there already and its quite impossoble for u all to break through..yes i have work..yes i am going overseas...and YES i am doing everything that we wernt suppose to do, but have i not done my work?! have i not learnt the songs? did i throw all that i am part off to another person?if u tell me yes i am not doing anything. ok i wont carry on..and u will see wat is called not doing.. if it still insnt the case, then why all this unnessery faces and pressure? you all already said, we are a big family so we try to understand one another and help one another, y is it that i see ppl understanding her more then my sistuation...? i work to lighten my farther load for me, my future spending on assign will increase and my hrs are juz on sun mon and tues, no ful time and stuff, not tt i cannot take..is i don wan cause still got camp..if i really wanna become a surveyer i believe i can earn 100plus aday lar..comprimising is one thing,understanding is another since i cant reach the point of it, i expect u guys also unable to reach me...
as for val i acturally wanted to write about the ppl around me ad really thanks them..but maybe not in this post lar...its so harsh up dere..and after bursting part of my bubbles inside i really don think its apporated to thansk all the freind now..maybe next time.. audrey fainting out....................................................tata
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